Friday, July 08, 2011


it started like any other day. stumble out of bed. scrounge up some breakfast for the kiddos. don't forget the gummy vitamins. pour some coffee for myself. try to get outside to play early before it gets too hot. normal as normal can be. 

we weren't outside maybe 10 minutes before i saw lucas trip and fall. just like he trips and falls every single day, multiple times a day. it's all part of the being-a-3-year-old-boy package. but as soon as i heard his scream after hitting the ground i knew there was something different about this fall. i just didn't know how different, yet.

he was holding his arm and i knew it was really hurting him. he can usually shake things off pretty quickly. i got his shirt off of him (which involved more screaming), but saw no blood, no swelling, no nothing. i kept some ice on it off and on, but 2 hours later, when he was still crying and still not wanting to move it, i accepted this wasn't a boo-boo that mommy could kiss away (not a feeling any mommy particularly likes). i strapped my shirtless boy into his car seat (which lead to more screaming as i had to move the strap around his arm) and headed to a nearby urgent care. after getting him out of the car seat (again, awful), they said i needed to take him to the emergency room because they didn't have the proper x-ray equipment for such a small child. 

back in the car seat he went (just getting awfuller). i have never taken one of my kids to the emergency room. i found the entrance and started looking for a close parking place. no dice. thanks to mr. shiny gas-guzzler truck that decided to take up two spaces... in front of the EMERGENCY entrance. seriously?

i got him checked in and admitted. after a short wait, they lead us from room to room checking his vitals and getting different information from me (i was so flustered i actually forgot his middle initial for a minute. i was afraid they were going to think i had abducted him). all the while, i'm staring at his skinny little limp arm and wishing i had x-ray vision. they lead us into the x-ray room with brightly colored walls. i stared at the mural clearly meant for children and wondered if it had ever succeeded in cheering anyone up who had to enter this room. it surely didn't do the trick for my son and me. then i had to lay my pitiful little boy on the big white table as the nurse pulled over the huge x-ray camera that was bigger than my son. then i saw the fear enter his eyes. i saw him reach for me and tell me over and over again "don't leave me, mommy." i thought about the thousands of parents who had probably experienced the same surreal thing that i had in that room. and i kept thinking to myself, "but today started out so normal..."

we were then led to a little hospital room to wait for the doctor. when we got there, i was relieved to see my neighbor in the room. my hubby was an hour away at work and this was definitely a day when i needed some moral support. the doctor came in pretty quickly and told me that he had broken his arm. what was peculiar about this break is that is was up close to his left shoulder, a place where kids just don't break their arms. as she proceeded to explain to me why the bone broke, i had the unbelievable experience of holding my child in a hospital room and hear the word "cyst" come out of a doctor's mouth. there is a very large cyst in his upper humurus, making a lot of hollow space in his bone, which is why it broke after a simple trip and fall. of course, at this point my brain exploded and my frantic hubby was on the way.

some good news came after some other doctors had a look at his x-ray. the cyst is symmetrical, which is apparently a sign that it may be benign and something he was born with. we'll head to unc chapel hill on wednesday to have further tests run. even if it is benign, the bone will have to be filled up or it will continue to get weaker and more brittle. the doctor was very positive and encouraging. for now, my little guy is drugged up and sporting just about the cutest little sling ever.

all day i couldn't help thinking about people with longterm health issues (and their parents). people that have to be in and out of the hospital, always have to have blood work done and prescriptions to fill. people that have a big part of their life defined by an illness. for all of those people, there was a day one. a day where things went from normal to never the same again. i was really struck with that thought for some reason. the comfort i got from all this, cliche though it may be, is that even though we were taken completely off guard, God has known of this day since the beginning and He's been preparing us for it in ways we're not even aware of. and i've been so encouraged by so many sweet messages and phone calls of people saying they're praying. we've even gotten word of people we've never met praying for our precious boy. the Kingdom is truly a marvelous thing and it's times like these when it's revealed more clearly. of course i pray for my son to be healed. i also pray for His Name is remain above all others. 

thanks for reading, if you've made it this far! i wanted to share all the information i knew with all of you and i also needed to write it out for my own sake :).


Joy for the Seasons said...

Oh that sweet precious little one! Praying for him and y'all. We had to take Little Bit to the Er two years in a row for broken bones (always Labor Day weekend, I swore if it happened a 3rd year we were driving to a different city's ER!). While we did not have something else like your boy's cyst to complicate things, I know that feeling of your baby not feeling well and not being able to make it better pretty quickly. Such a good reminder that we cannot fix everything, but it is in the Lord's power to do so! {{{Hang in there, sweet mama!}}}

Mom-mode said...

My heart broke with you as I read each line, friend. The pics are just so precious. We miss that sweet little boy. We r praying for him and u guys. Praying also that God will hold on to your mommy heart. Love u!!!!!