Monday, January 24, 2011

repost: a bible story gone way wrong

~originally posted on 12/12/2008~

i took the kids to MOPS this morning. when we get home it's always a whirlwind to get everyone fed and down for a nap in a timely matter. it is in the midst of this whirlwind that i had the wildest conversation with my daughter that i've ever had in my entire life, or i guess i should say this is the craziest stuff she's ever said, ever.

we were having lunch (or they were; i prefer to enjoy my lunch during naptime when all is relatively peaceful) and i asked rachel what she did in MOPS this morning. she told me a few cute little sentences that would make any parent think "wow, my kid is really cute."

i then asked her, "did you listen to a story today?"

rachel: "YES!"

me: what was the story about?


me: what did Jesus do in the story?

r: Jesus smacked people.

me: ... He smacked people?

r: yeah, cuz He was mad and wanted to kill people.

me: ... ... Jesus?

r: no, the king.

me: king herod?

r: yeah.

me: (at this point i thought i saw where the story was going so i tried to help her out. boy, was i wrong.) you mean herod wanted to kill baby Jesus?

r: no, big Jesus.

me: so why did herod want to kill big Jesus?

r: cuz he was mad. he wanted to wake Him up.

me: (most parents would probably try to correct their children at this point, but i really wanted to see where this was going to end up.) He was sleeping?

r: yeah, He was fast asleep on the chip.

me: the chip?

r: the chip of many colors.

me: do you mean "ship?"

r: yeah. He was sleeping on the ship.

me: Jesus?

r: no, the other guy.

me: herod?

r: yeah. then they threw him into the sea.

me: are you talking about jonah?

r: no, a giant. they threw him into the sea, into the deepest sea, all the way into the fish's mouth. and he bit him with his mouth. and his tail was a big tail that was swimming in the water. he went all the way into the fish's big mouth and he bite him.

me: the giant?

r: no, jonah.

perhaps we should concentrate on one bible story at a time... what do you think?


Jill said...

too funny!

The Renfrows said...

Best. Bible. Story. Ever. The RWSV (Rachel Wade Standard Version). - Stephen