Friday, December 12, 2008

A Bible Story Gone Way Wrong

i took the kids to MOPS this morning. when we get home it's always a whirlwind to get everyone fed and down for a nap in a timely matter. it is in the midst of this whirlwind that i had the wildest conversation with my daughter that i've ever had in my entire life, or i guess i should say this is the craziest stuff she's ever said, ever.

we were having lunch (or they were; i prefer to enjoy my lunch during naptime when all is relatively peaceful) and i asked rachel what she did in MOPS this morning. she told me a few cute little sentences that would make any parent think "wow, my kid is really cute."

i then asked her, "did you listen to a story today?"

rachel: "YES!"

me: what was the story about?


me: what did Jesus do in the story?

r: Jesus smacked people.

me: ... He smacked people?

r: yeah, cuz He was mad and wanted to kill people.

me: ... ... Jesus?

r: no, the king.

me: king herod?

r: yeah.

me: (at this point i thought i saw where the story was going so i tried to help her out. boy, was i wrong.) you mean herod wanted to kill baby Jesus?

r: no, big Jesus.

me: so why did herod want to kill big Jesus?

r: cuz he was mad. he wanted to wake Him up.

me: (most parents would probably try to correct their children at this point, but i really wanted to see where this was going to end up.) He was sleeping?

r: yeah, He was fast asleep on the chip.

me: the chip?

r: the chip of many colors.

me: do you mean "ship?"

r: yeah. He was sleeping on the ship.

me: Jesus?

r: no, the other guy.

me: herod?

r: yeah. then they threw him into the sea.

me: are you talking about jonah?

r: no, a giant. they threw him into the sea, into the deepest sea, all the way into the fish's mouth. and he bit him with his mouth. and his tail was a big tail that was swimming in the water. he went all the way into the fish's big mouth and he bite him.

me: the giant?

r: no, jonah.

perhaps we should concentrate on one bible story at a time... what do you think?


Anonymous said...

Andie, that is absolutely hilarious! I'm so glad you wrote that down. I laughed so hard I cried.

Kathleen said...

wow...her little head must have been spinning trying to comprehend all of that and morph it all together.

Caleb and Adrienne said...

I'm sure she believed everything she had to say! Love it!

Caleb and Adrienne said...

Hey Girl!

I'm working on a birthday idea for Ben and I need your help! (It won't be hard, I promise!) Can you send me an e-mail so that I have your e-mail address?? Thanks!

Garner Gang said...

That story is hillarious, too bad you didn't get it on video =) I can't wait until Abby can talk!

The Lowerys said...

Andie...I lauged so hard I cried...and then printed it out :)