Next Installment of Junie B. Jones

Chapter 3: Very Slumping


I walked home from the bus stop very slumping.
Very slumping is when your shoulders are sad. And your head can't hold up that good.
Grandma Miller was in the nursery.
She baby-sits me and my baby brother in the afternoon. His name is Ollie. I love him a real lot. Except I wish he didn't live at my actual house.
Grandma Miller was rocking him in the rocking chair. I tried to climb up there, too. Only Grandma said "Hold your horses" at me.
"Yeah, only I need to rock very bad," I explained. "On account of a mean boy is having a birthday party on Saturday. And he is inviting everyone in Room Nine. Only not me. I'm the only one who's not going."
Grandma Miller did a sad face.
"Children can be so cruel," she said. "Just wait till I get the baby to sleep. And then you and I will talk about it. Okay?"
And so that's how come I crossed my arms. And I tapped my foot. And I waited and waited for that baby to go to sleep. Only his eyes kept on staying wide open.
"Hold them closed with your fingers, Grandma," I told her.
"Heavens, no!" she said.
Then she kept right on rocking him.
And so finally I got tired of waiting. And I went to my room. And I crawled underneath my covers. I crawled way down to the bottom of my sheets.
It is very muffly down there. You can say mean stuff. And no one can hear you.
"Here is all the stuff I hate," I said. "First, I hate that meanie Jim. Then I hate clowns. And Old MacDonald had a farmer. Plus I hate rabbits. And burros. And ponies. And guess what else? We didn't actually need a baby at this house. Only no one even consulted me."
Just then, I heard a knock on my door.
"Junie B.? It's Grandma, honey. Ollie finally went to sleep."
She came in and lifted up my covers.
"I called your mother and told her what happened at school," she said.
I peeked up at her.
"And so can she fix it?" I asked. "Can I go to the birthday party now?"
Grandma Miller held out her arms to me. She pulled me out of my covers.
"Your mother is going to talk to you about it when she gets home," she said. "Meanwhile, why don't you and I have a little fun. Let's read a book, okay? What kind of story would you like to hear?"
I thought and thought.
"I would like to hear a story about a little girl who doesn't get invited to a meanie boy's birthday. And so she sneaks to his house. And she lets a wild pony out of the barn. And then it stomples the boy into a flattie pancake. And all the children pour maple syrup on that guy. And they eat him for breakfast."
Grandma Miller looked kind of sickish.
"You've got to stop worrying about that boy's party. He's just trying to get your goat" she said.
Just then my eyes got big and wide at her.
"Goat? What goat, grandma? Do I have a goat? Is it a surprise goat? Are you keeping it a secret at your house?"
I jumped up and pulled her hand.
"Let's go get it! Want to, Grandma? Let's go get my goat right now!"
Just then a great idea popped in my head.
"HEY! I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING, GRANDMA! YOU AND ME CAN BRING MY GOAT TO MY HOUSE! AND THEN I CAN HAVE MY VERY OWN BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY! I WILL CALL IT 'COME AND GET MY GOAT!' AND EVERYONE IN ROOM NINE WILL COME TO MY PARTY! AND THEY WON'T GO TO THAT MEANIE JIM'S!"
All of a sudden the front door opened. It was Mother!
I runned to her speedy quick.
"Mother, Mother! Guess what? Guess what? Me and Grandma Miller are getting my goat! And I am having my very own birthday party on Saturday! And all of Room Nine is going to be invited! Only not that Jim I hate! He is the only one not coming! So ha ha on him!"
Just then, Grandma Miller sneaked out the front door with her sweater. I pulled on Mother's arm.
"Come on, Mother! Come on!" I said. "We have to go to the store and buy my invitations! Plus also we have to pick up the beanie wienies!"
Mother didn't come on. She sat down on the couch. And smoothed my hair.
"Listen to me, Junie B.," she said. "I know Jim hurt your feelings today. But you can't have your birthday party on Saturday. Your birthday isn't till June, remember? And June is still months away."
"I know June is months away," I said. "And so that is how come I am moving my birthday sooner. 'Cause months away will be too late."
Mother picked me up and put me on her lap.
"I'm afraid you don't understand, honey, "she said. "You just can't change the day you were born. No one can. Its' impossible."
I made my voice very whispering.
"yeah, only here's a little secret...nobody in Room Nine even knows when my birthday is. So I think we can pull it off."
Mother did a little smile. She ruffled my hair.
"Sorry honey. No can do," she said.
"Yes!" I hollered. "Yes can do! 'Cause I have to have my birthday on Saturday! Or else I will be the only one who is not going to that meanie Jim's! And that is the saddest story I ever even heard of."
Just then, my eyes got a little bit of wet in them.
Mother wiped my face with a tissue.
Then she hugged me real tight.
And she said the words I'm sorry.

More bad news.
Grandma Miller just called...
There's no goat.


TO BE CONTINUED...